13 February 2014
A term I hadn't related to baby-making until just this week. I had participated by donating to others without being aware that it had a name or that it was a thing. I thought it was something a start-up might do to get investors to buy into their business. I even thought there was something illegal about it!
If this sounds like you, join the crowd.
In literal terms, crowdfunding or crowd sourcing is the collection of funds through small contributions made by many parties in order to reach a set financial goal for a particular venture. Wikipedia describes it as the collective effort of individuals who network and pool their money, usually via the internet, to support initiatives by other people.
It's fundraising. It's asking for donations. UGH.
08 February 2014
More than I think I even realized. My January flew by in such a whirlwind of surprises, of work, of travel...that I was able to push my sadness aside until I had time to really feel it.
I think it's important to feel it. To get to know it. To embrace it, even. But then, how to push the reset button?
How do I not get stuck. in. sadness.
Honestly, I can't remember how I felt before I got the news I was pregnant. I am left so raw from the sheer unfairness of events that followed that I've been too bruised to fight, to wage war against the sadness that eventually creeps in.
04 February 2014
“Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4
Not being a morning person in the least, I prepared myself for an 8:00 a.m. doctor appointment by throwing on a hat and some lipgloss and driving to the office without much fanfare, feeling somewhat anxious of the unknown. I was suddenly struck with the notion that I was rushing the process, like my body and soul still needed to heal; but Father Time kept poking me...reminding me that my biological clock was about to expire. It seemed the more I opened myself up to HOPE, the more doubt was creeping in.
I walked into the waiting room; it was small...no, intimate and warm. There was another patient already at the reception window and my positive momentum hesitated for a moment. When it was my turn, I hopped up from the chair I had strategically claimed and placed the magazine I was pretending to read on the table beside it. As I walked up to the counter, I secretly wished I had done something to my hair and put more effort into my selection of sweatpants.
Suck it up, slob.
And then it happened. I found joy. No really...I found JOY! She was smiling her always infectious and huge dimpled grin and her bright blue eyes looked at me in equal surprise. "Gina!", she exclaimed! My guard was let down and my fear simply disappeared. Joy, a friend from high school, had literally been placed in my journey.
God places angels among us everywhere.
When facing a hardship, no matter how big or how small, don't quit yourself. Keep your eye on the prize and stay the path in faith - for there, your JOY will be found!