Why Share MY Story?

I share in the off chance that my own story might touch someone's life in a positive way.


We never know where our lives will take us, and by documenting the journey, we are given perspective and always left with the HOPE that MIRACLES DO, and continue to, HAPPEN! 


A miracle. That's exactly what it was on 1/5/14 when a home test confirmed what my 41 year old body was feeling - I was positive! For my FIRST and ONLY pregnancy. A visit to the women's health pavilion 2 days later solidified our findings and the doctor had no worries about me catching a pre-scheduled flight to Wisconsin for travel to Michigan and back later that same week.

SUB-MIT

Submit. 

What a simple, perfectly symetrical little word.  As my mouse hovered over it, begging me to SUBMIT from my computer screen, I began to feel a bit...powerless.

Seeking to regain a sense of false control, I consulted Mr. Merriam and Dr. Webster.  Here's what they had to say:

sub-mit

transitive verb
1) a: to yield to governance or authority

   b: to subject to a condition, treatment, or operation

2): to present or propose to another for review, consideration, or decision; also: to deliver formally

3): to put forward as an opinion or contention

intransitive verb

1) a: to yield oneself to the authority or will of another: surrender
   b: to permit oneself to be subjected to something
 

 2): to defer or consent to abide by the opinion or authority of another 

...and there it was... 

Confirmation. Validation.  Affirmation.  Verification.
(ok, the thesaurus button was WAY too readily available here) 

SUBMIT was more than just the push of a cute little button.  More than a passive request.  More than a mere humble solicitation.  It was even more than first steps towards the potential of LIFE CHANGING EVENTS!!!  

It was to yield to another, to be subjected to be treated for a condition, to be judged by the opinion or authority of another, to defer consent.  By hitting submit, I lost all composure; symbolicly and literally.  Tears streaming down my face, I pondered this and after calling my husband at work like a lunatic - I lifted it up to God.  I  had followed my heart this far and now there it was, buried in all those synonyms and harsh descriptions...the thing that the heavens and the earth have been waiting on... 

Surrender
suh-ren-der

...and so I continued to complete the online request for consultation at a local adoption agency to where my research keeps leading.  But they only REALLY wanted to know one thing, and so I answered:
 

Q: What brings you to our office?

A: My husband and I are aching to be parents and fear that wehave waited too late in life.  While weare young at heart, those same hearts have grown way too big to fill with onlythe love we have for each other, our friends and family, our charities and otherpassions in life.  We have discussed andeven pursued other options, but recently have been pulled hard by the callingto adopt.   And with all the resourcesout there, we come to you surprisingly unprepared for both the tremendous anxiousanticipation of what might be...and the logistics of a solid plan ofaction.  I am drawn to, but fearful atthe same time, an open adoption on many levels and would like to find out moreabout that.  Together, we want to learnwhat type of adoption is a good fit for us, find out if we qualify, gainresources to help us with a financial and legal plan...and find hope. 

....and so I did it.  I hit submit.


 

S is for: Surrogate

While I am not sure Dr. Phil is even a real doctor, nor am I completely sure I care - today's episode caught my attention this evening as I flip...flip...flipped for something to watch. The Enquirer-esque caption exploited "Criminal, Kidnapper and 100% Wrong - Surrogate Mom Faces Her Critics".
Well, THIS I gotta hear!

I should have kept flipping.

I say this, because it was truly the first time I had put any serious thought into the matter. The practice of a surrogacy is; however, quite literally as old as the hills. The original "Baby Mama" can be found nowhere else but in the Bible itself! I think they skipped over that part in Sunday school.

Wikipedia describes it as a "method of reproduction". I had to stop and think about that one. Not because I didn't understand the words, but there was no adjective describing the method as being "alternative". It struck me as an unfamiliar and uncomfortable realty. How very sheltered and naive of me.

Wiki goes on to describe the different kinds of surrogacy. Dr. Phil's lucky guest of honor was a gestational surrogate whereas she was not the biological mother. Egg and sperm were both from a 3rd party donation service. Again, I had to stop and think; putting two and two together just wasn't adding up for me.

I get why a person (an intended parent) would want to share the entire journey from conception to birth with and/or through another (a surrogate parent) as the closest thing to their own experience when the hope of that is gone. Believe me, I get it so much. I get why sometimes one of the intended may not physically be able to be a part of either the conception or the birth - in which case the intended's partner could at least be a part in the conception of a surrogate. I have no problem with that. What I don't get is having zero biological connection for either intended parent in the case where one of them IS physically capable regardless of how desperately one or the other wants the experience. It is selfish to the world. There are just way too many children who simply need a loving home.

There are just too many legal and moral debate topics brought up in the show to cover in one sitting. My brain stopped at the above and is now hurting from the rest. What I did get from the drama was some of my own insight, albeit personal and some good resources for more information.

Now on to some REAL reality: High School Reunion on TV Land!

Sources:
The Dr. Phil Show
Wikipedia
Center for Surrogate Parenting

S is for Schedule

I was reading one of those very sophisticated woman's magazines this evening and stumbled across one of their equally as compelling quizzes aimed at helping readers like me expand our horizons and grow within ourselves; it was titled "What Sexual Position Fits Your Personality".

Inquiring minds had to know.

Instead of just getting my OWN take on it, I enlisted the help of my husband to answer the questions with me...knowing my results would have to be spot-on utilizing this strategy.

Question #1: How would you describe your sex live?

Without letting me list out the multiple choice answers, Todd volunteered from across the room, "SCHEDULED!" (in a tone that would have you believe he just blurted out the million dollar response to Regis himself)

I think I was better off not knowing.