08 September 2009

S is for Schedule

I was reading one of those very sophisticated woman's magazines this evening and stumbled across one of their equally as compelling quizzes aimed at helping readers like me expand our horizons and grow within ourselves; it was titled "What Sexual Position Fits Your Personality".

Inquiring minds had to know.

Instead of just getting my OWN take on it, I enlisted the help of my husband to answer the questions with me...knowing my results would have to be spot-on utilizing this strategy.

Question #1: How would you describe your sex live?

Without letting me list out the multiple choice answers, Todd volunteered from across the room, "SCHEDULED!" (in a tone that would have you believe he just blurted out the million dollar response to Regis himself)

I think I was better off not knowing.

06 September 2009

M is for Mucinex

What does Mucinex have to do with makin' babies? Funny you should ask!

Since my diagnosis of producing concrete, the remedy has been prescribed as Mucinex (not the DM) taken twice daily. It thins out the mucus when you have a head cold - why not your cervix I suppose!

The outcome? Holy rubber wet suit, Batman!

I have to admit I was skeptical. But I have now been shown the light. Given the issues post intercourse I described in yesterday's post, I was just under the impression THAT was the normal. I have been loving this! No more problems before or after the deed. Does it sound weird that I FEEL more fertile? LOL. And no more do I seem to feel 'not in the mood'. I may be forming a serious addiction to this new found over-the-counter miracle drug. It's the best little blue pill ever!

My job is easy now. I purchase a daily ovulation kit and take it from there. My witch doctor described optimal positions and methods to encourage our little swimmers to find the end of the rainbow. It could get quite hilarious on the home front this month.

05 September 2009

C is for Cervical Concrete!

While nothing has been found to explain our infertility, the outcome of my last visit to Dr. Mooney-Smith was more voodoo than science.

I was ordered to have intercourse (presumably with my husband) no more then two hours before my appointment with the good doctor. Not a morning person in the last bit, this meant I had to wake up two hours earlier than normal while trying to look and feel sexy to fit it all in before 'poor Todd' had to leave for work. He of course did not feel put out in the least and so the sun rose with a smile for one of us!

This was all in preparation for a Postcoital Test; done as a last ditch effort to figure out what our big holdup has been. It is not a test that is often performed and is basically the only thing left when everything else checks out normal with both partners. The idea is to check my cervical mucus (CM) after sex to make sure there are sperm present and moving normally. Swabs are taken from several different places both in the vagina and cervix for comparison.

So I was mopped up while slides were prepared for the microscope and taken back to the lab. My doctor gave me a pat on the back for "my" terrific stretchiness (as if it was something i controlled). She quickly ran back to my room within a few minutes beaming - so ecstatic, in fact, that she wanted me to see for myself what she had discovered!

I felt important as I followed her back to the lab, but a bit like a voyeur spying on the little guys. There they were! I was relieved to see so many swimmers in one little area. She counted over 25 with 80% of those being viable! But as hard as they tried to move, they just couldn't....forever stuck in the quicksand that my body produces. What she found was that my CM is more like CC (cervical concrete)!

While this may sound odd to most, I always suspected something awry. It's not something you discuss with your girlfriends - comparing post intercourse messes, that is...and I guess that is why it was easy to believe the first doctor who told us that it was Todd who had 'lazy sperm'. But I 'secretly' knew better. Unfortunately, I did not meet my husband as a virgin and I had experienced that same 'mess' with others after sex. It's like my body not only physically rejected any outside made efforts to push it right back out!

So what voodoo do my doc do tell for me to do? Take medicine - have intercourse on my head and do a little dance afterwards. Seriously....


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