Seeing Red

Ok, I might be going through an identity crisis with this new baby thing. Some might see it as acting out, as searching, as reaching - but I prefer to interpret my actions as brave.

That's right. BRAVE.

Finally, at 41 years old and after having a major mortality-checking life event shake all the cobwebs out down to my core, I feel BRAVE. Bold. Daring. Strong. Spunky!

And lately, every time something small happens that makes me ultra-aware of my own fragility, well, I just remind myself that I am still in control. That God molded me as a creative individual with free will and a free spirit, and as long as my spirit dwells in his (and remember that...ahem...HE is REALLY in control here) - then he's cool with expression!

OK, I'm reaching there. What I wanted to voice this time was red. Poetic as it might seem, one thing just led to another...

I woke up one morning a few weeks ago with cramps. YAY! Cramps!

I really was excited because this meant that my cycle was starting to normalize. I went to take my morning pee (awww...loosen up..that's what it is!) and saw red. YAY! RED!

I took some pain reliever, took my shower and triumphantly prepared for the rest of my bloody day. As night time fell into darkness, my body seemed to have lost its mojo. It gave me nothing. Nada. Ziltch. I waited for days. Still no period.

NOW I WAS seeing red!  I was pissed! It had been 6 weeks already. What gives?!?!  So...I did something about it. "I'll show you red!" I thought out loud. (NO idea who I was talking to, by the way.)

More of a pink girl, I've always wanted to 'go red'. My natural hair color leans towards a mousy auburn, fading to brassy in the summer. Every time I think I'm going red, my husband reminds me that it's really just orange. So I marched myself to the local Sally Beauty Supply and shopped for red. Fiery red. Hot temper red! What I found was Jazzy Cherry Cola. And it was perfect.

But I wimped out. It was temporary and washed out in days. I messaged my husband's hair stylist (I know, I know, not really girly of me - I don't really have one!) and asked her if she was 'in'. She said yes! But that my hair was a little...ummmm....PINK. So I researched hair color on one of the top online resources available. That's right, I consulted Pinterest. And found something I liked. And the rest is permanent hair color history.

So now I'm doing things that I've always wanted to do, but the sugar & spice pink girl in me never did. Eat real sushi. Get a tattoo. Opt for blacks over blues. Go over the speed limit with expired tags. You know, crazy stuff like that.

I kind-of like this shade of red!













And I'm hoping FEARLESS comes next!