I attended a frighteningly informative seminar sponsored by the Reproductive Resource Center. Amidst young couples almost bursting with excitement and women who had solid reasons for having trouble making babies, I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. The fact that I have had "unexplained infertility" for, at the very least, the last 17 years of my life - does not give me a happy prognosis. If I had only started this process even just 5 years ago, I wouldn't have to make such immediate and hard decisions about our future.
To remain childless or somehow finance $30K - that is know what it is down to.
As an only child of divorced parents, I have always had this sense of being alone. Sometimes, this feels like loneliness. Quite selfishly, I thought that starting my OWN family would fill that void with a real bond - a real bloodline connection - to another precious life. I know that I would be a great mom rivaled only by the greatness of Todd being a dad. I never thought I would be one of those women who became overwhelmed by the unlikelihood of that experience...until it hit me this morning during an emotional and open discussion of the facts as they were presented to me.
I know our options - but they are just not options for us at this time. Unfortunately - time is not a thing that we have anymore.
2 comments:
Gina, I don't know why this is going on with you and no one on earth does. You are right, you and Todd would be absolutely terrific parents. What it comes down to is that this sucks and my heart aches for you guys! But there is some reason. Your story isn't over. I'm praying for you guys and hope that you can find peace with this situation and with what God has planned for your lives. Love you! T
Hello: I don't visit Blogfrog often but I noticed that I had some followers & had a look at your blog. You are very right, life just gets away from you at times, things happen & boom, you suddenly realize you would like to have a family but it's harder than you think. My wife & I are a case in point, marriage after med school, residency, private practice & 12 years of TTC..and me an RE! After 3 yrs of clomid & IUI's we did IVF w/ICSI in the 90's when ART was not as good as it is now. We succeeded with our one and only when DW was 38 & I 40...so keep your eyes on the prize and don't give up! Good luck! EJR, MD
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