Join the Crowd

Crowdfunding.

A term I hadn't related to baby-making until just this week. I had participated by donating to others without being aware that it had a name or that it was a thing. I thought it was something a start-up might do to get investors to buy into their business. I even thought there was something illegal about it!

If this sounds like you, join the crowd.

In literal terms, crowdfunding or crowd sourcing is the collection of funds through small contributions made by many parties in order to reach a set financial goal for a particular venture. Wikipedia describes it as the collective effort of individuals who network and pool their money, usually via the internet, to support initiatives by other people.

It's fundraising. It's asking for donations. UGH.

Forcing Happy

I'm sad.

More than I think I even realized. My January flew by in such a whirlwind of surprises, of work, of travel...that I was able to push my sadness aside until I had time to really feel it.

I think it's important to feel it. To get to know it. To embrace it, even. But then, how to push the reset button?

How do I not get stuck. in. sadness.

Honestly, I can't remember how I felt before I got the news I was pregnant. I am left so raw from the sheer unfairness of events that followed that I've been too bruised to fight, to wage war against the sadness that eventually creeps in.

Finding Joy

 

“Consider it pure joy, my brother, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, lacking nothing.” James 1:2-4

Not being a morning person in the least, I prepared myself for an 8:00 a.m. doctor appointment by throwing on a hat and some lipgloss and driving to the office without much fanfare, feeling somewhat anxious of the unknown. I was suddenly struck with the notion that I was rushing the process, like my body and soul still needed to heal; but Father Time kept poking me...reminding me that my biological clock was about to expire.  It seemed the more I opened myself up to HOPE, the more doubt was creeping in.

Quick prayer.

I walked into the waiting room; it was small...no, intimate and warm. There was another patient already at the reception window and my positive momentum hesitated for a moment. When it was my turn, I hopped up from the chair I had strategically claimed and placed the magazine I was pretending to read on the table beside it. As I walked up to the counter, I secretly wished I had done something to my hair and put more effort into my selection of sweatpants.

Suck it up, slob.

And then it happened. I found joy. No really...I found JOY! She was smiling her always infectious and huge dimpled grin and her bright blue eyes looked at me in equal surprise. "Gina!", she exclaimed! My guard was let down and my fear simply disappeared. Joy, a friend from high school, had literally been placed in my journey.

God places angels among us everywhere.

When facing a hardship, no matter how big or how small, don't quit yourself. Keep your eye on the prize and stay the path in faith - for there, your JOY will be found!

Even if He does not...

I am today reminded of a Bible story about King Nebuchadnezzar. You might remember variations in the story of Shadrach, Meshack and Abednego in the fiery furnace.

Long story short, the king had erected a statue in his image and made his people bow to worship it in a public ceremony. Three men of God refused and were punished by being cast into a fiery furnace, emerging unscathed without even the smell of smoke.

Or was it the story of Daniel and the lion's den? I can't remember. Both were terrifying encounters to a kiddo and both are from the book of Daniel with similar endings. This one of a man of God thrown into a pit of lions for continuing to pray after being told by a King not to; again, coming out of the ordeal without even a scratch.

Why Share MY Story?

I share in the off chance that my own story might touch someone's life in a positive way.


We never know where our lives will take us, and by documenting the journey, we are given perspective and always left with the HOPE that MIRACLES DO, and continue to, HAPPEN! 


A miracle. That's exactly what it was on 1/5/14 when a home test confirmed what my 41 year old body was feeling - I was positive! For my FIRST and ONLY pregnancy. A visit to the women's health pavilion 2 days later solidified our findings and the doctor had no worries about me catching a pre-scheduled flight to Wisconsin for travel to Michigan and back later that same week.

From Darkness to Light: Baby Steps to Recovery

The immediate aftermath of my miscarriage was both surreal and beautiful. Processing through the hormonal roller coaster, the physical pain and the emotional loss while in utter solitude took me from one extreme to another...and back again.

And while I'd like to think of my experience as unique, I'm fairly certain that having the luxury of NOT being home, in the supporting arms of the man I love and in the soft cradle of my own bed, may have helped me fast forward through much of the proverbial sinkhole. I went through it just like everyone else who ever has.

The Best 8 Days of Our Lives

1/7/14 - Best Day of My Life!

2014 is the year of happiness and January is the month of hope. 

As I look at this now - how appropriate. I had very few symptoms, but my mommy (yes, MOMMY) intuition told me something was up.  Weeks after a missed cycle I finally took myself to the local drug store to find out the impossible - I was pregnant!

OMG..what do I do next?!??!

I cry. I panic. I laugh. I almost pass out! I drop to my knees and throw up my hands to thank our Lord for working pure positive magic in my body and soul over the last 9 months in preparation for this miracle. As if I, myself, were just born.  At 41 years old, I had personally put my own 'baby thing' well behind me and NOTHING could be more of an amazing surprise!