New Year, Baby!

It may sound a bit cliche, but this New Year will be Year of NEW for me!

As I look at this passage of time through my sporatic little blog, I find that I have, frankly, become quite boring and most depressing. While there is much left still unwritten -  and many years before Geez, Baby! that has been already packed away in the darkness of memories best forgotten -  what I failed to highlight is that my life is FULL of babies; baby steps, pet projects that become 'my baby', a full spectrum of perpetual home and garden nesting rituals, small miracles that occcur every day...

Listen...I'm turning 40 this year and if there is anything I am going to get out of this life, I need to get over it and get on with it, Baby!  I cannot promise I will convert my brooding wisdom into songs of endless sappy happy, but I can adapt, adjust and amend. I can promise that THIS IS MY YEAR. 

Call it what you will; new beginnings, fresh starts, brighter outlooks, renewed spirit...ALL OF IT and more!  Call it crazy.  Call me niave.  Call it heads or call it tails. 

I call it a new day vs. just another one.

Christmas Time

This Christmas just seems to blend into the last.  It's true that time moves so quickly that if you blink even just for just a moment, you might miss a lifetime.  My eyes not only fluttered, they have been closed.  Shut tight.  Closed so that no light nor darkness can enter my soul.  So when they open, I find myself as though time has stood still in my mind; same time, same place, same situation.  But it's an illusion.  The contiuum marches on - and I, in the middle.


So THIS is the time.  Time to WAKE UP.  My time is NOW! 
Make something of it, Gina.  Start today.  

Pressure's On!

Today is my birthday.  The day I was born - thirty-nine years ago..today.  One year older, another year passed.

No matter how I say it, I'm sure it means more to my mother than to me.  To me, it's just another day.

...Until I think of the pressure.  Oh man!  I forgot about my deadline!  UGH!

39 was to be my banner year. Well, that is after 32 was suppposed to be my banner year - and then escaped me. Oh yeah, then 36 was to be my banner year; it came and went.  Now here is 39 aready?!?!  Wasn't I in this same place JUST last year?  Hadn't I been warned that my clock was ticking?

THIRTY NINE.  It's the last year you may use your own eggs for IVF implant.  Not the last year they recommend due to the loss of viability or the low percentages...that has been the heads up since I as thirty-two (my first expected banner year..double ugh.); but the last year they will even do it! 

Oh sure, I can use some other woman's egg.  Somebody else's gene pool.  Some young things unneeded extras.  Somebody who has plenty to spare.  Some dumb somebody who isn't me!

That somebody might possibly be healthy, I guess.  I guess they could  possibly have auburn hair.  Maybe quite possibly have blue eyes.  Possibly a few freckles and fair skin; maybe even petite and I guess they could be a good person, hard worker, lover of animals and beauty. 

If thirty-nine doesn't happen - I guess maybe there is possibly always forty.

Snap! Crackle! Baby?

I am no longer a virgin.  A virgin of chiropractic care, that is.

I tweaked an old back injury last week.  So bad that I cannot imagine making it through the mammoth (over) third-of-a-million dollar tradeshow I am in charge of in just two weeks without a major physical breakdown.  

I sit - it hurts.

I stand - it hurts.

I lay down - it hurts.

I get back up - it hurts.

I dare move in bed while sleeping - it wakes me up like a shot out of hell.

I breathe - you got it..it hurts!




So I asked for help.  (Something I have been reminded again and again by multiple sources lately that I need to do more of).  My boss told me, "This guy will not only help you, he will change your life."

WOW.

I left work early today to have my world rocked.  A bit afraid of an earthquake, I asked my husband to meet me there.

After signing my life away (but not completing any personal history), 'this guy' asked me to stand.  He cocked his head and stared at me, eyeball measured a few things, and sat back down.  He then proceeded to take a deep look into my very soul and tell me my own health history, and then some, without missing a beat.  

Was 'this guy for real?!?

As we continued chatting (and I have no idea how this subject even came up), I revealed for some reason that Todd and I had been trying to have a baby, again, for the last few years - that I had all but given up since losing my last job back in June; letting my weight spin out of control and dumping all excersise.  He looked up at both of us and asked, "Do you still want to get pregnant?"

YES!

My husband looked over and smiled at the light in my eyes he hadn't seen in so long. 

He briefly described how chiropractic care works alongside good nutrition and healthy balance to create an opportunity for natural pregancy.  As he told me about his recent success stories, my eyes wandered around the room to various posters and signs in his office.  "I do not heal.  I align your body so that you can align your heart for God to heal." one says right next to a poster image of chubby little baby fingers being held by a mother's hand.

"We will make that happen", 'this guy' says.